Alas, I am still pregnant. I was going to be induced today, but not only did we change our minds, my doctor let me know that a lot of women had went into labor last night, so they might not have been able to squeeze me in anyway.
So this is the baby's first past due notice:
This is just a reminder from your landlord that you are overdue. Please be aware that there will be a $30 per day fine for each day you are past due, beginning today. Management is aware that you will have no monetary funds upon arrival. Taking this into consideration, we have agreed to accept an easy and painless delivery as payment. We are in the process of approving hugs and kisses as well, and we will keep you informed of the status. Poopy diapers and spit-up, however, will not be acceptable forms of payment. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Please keep in mind that you have until November 10th to arrive. If you have not arrived and your account is not paid in full by the 10th, we will be forced to evict you. This is your first and final notice.
(Mom and Dad)