Monday, January 26, 2009
It will require divine intervention for Taylor to be potty-trained before he starts high school. I have tried EVERYTHING:
- Giving him 1 M&M for going pee, 2 for poop
- Sticker chart
- Having him sit on the toilet every 20 minutes
- Letting him just go naked
- Giving him a special "pee plant" to water
- Letting him pick out his own big boy underwear
- The "potty monster": I dressed up all of my toilets with arms and faces and they all thanked Taylor for "feeding" them after he went to the bathroom
- Telling him that he was doing a great job wherever he went to the bathroom, but encouraging him to go on the toilet
- Getting a toy if he stays dry all day
- Spanking him every time he went anywhere but the toilet
I've been at this for months. So what's my present method? I've come to the point where I'm sick of buying diapers or pullups and I'm sick of stressing about it. I'm not putting him in diapers or pullups anymore. The kid will wear underwear at all times unless he's at school. The problem? Well, he doesn't really care that he's wet. I made him ride home in his underwear after he wet his pants one day, and he came home and went straight to his toys- didn't even bother to take them off.
But today we had a breakthrough... kind of. We met Kent for lunch, and he wet his pants during lunch. So after lunch we went out to the car and I made Taylor wait on the driver side while I put Erik in his car seat on the other side. After I get Erik buckled up, I walk around the car to open the door for Taylor. What is he doing? His pants are around his ankles, his shirt is up past his belly, and he's wizzing on the black BMW that's parked next to us.
And I thought we weren't getting anywhere...
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Now for all of you who might be living in filth, which can include piles of clean and dirty laundry strewn all over your upstairs, toilets with rings in them, hairballs all over your bathroom floors, and every single bed un-made, don't despair! (Of course, judging from the pictures above, I would never tolerate such atrocities in my home...) You, too, can have such a magnificent home as I. My secret?
Two little boys and absolutely ZERO motivation at the present moment.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
2.: While I was listening to that paranormal talk radio show I was considering who I might believe if they told me some outlandish story about a U.F.O. or alien sighting. I told Kent that there was a whopping two, maybe three, people who I would believe if they claimed they had a sighting: my best friend, Kim, and my father-in-law, Steve. The third maybe, you ask? That would have to be my mother-in-law, Linda... until she posted her comment. I guess the list is back to a solid two. Sorry, Linda :)
Friday, January 9, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Lucky me! On Thursday nights there is a talk show about aliens and paranormal stuff. I was quite enlightened. I believe that if I die now, I will know all that I ever needed to know. Since I'm in a generous mood, let me share my bountiful harvest of knowledge:
- "They're shape-shifters." According to our resident expert, Whitley Strieber, auther of Communion, they take many forms, whether it be "amphibious, reptilian, or any other form." Better keep an eye on what you thought was your pet turtle.
- There are apparently 26 "races" of aliens. Not quite sure how they differ, but I figure that the next time I'm at a baby shower and someone just happens to be wondering how many different races of aliens there are, I'll know.
- All aliens will harm humans. There are no benevolent ones. Kind of makes you wonder why they took pity on those backcountry rednecks who they dumped in a field naked, cold, hungry, and surrounded by empty beer bottles.
- Being from somewere other than this planet doesn't excuse their lack of ethics. One of the callers insisted that there had to be some nice aliens because he was abducted at the age of 9 and it wasn't a horrifying experience at all. It was actually enjoyable (no, he did not go into detail about what went on). Strieber insisted that just proved his theory about all aliens being hostile. "You were abducted when you were a child! Everyone on this planet knows that kidnapping is wrong!" Hmm... They must have missed the memo that Earth sent out over the Galacticon Gamma Ray Wire Telegram System concerning the abduction of young earthlings.
I wonder why they never abduct college graduates.
So there you have it. Next time you're at a dinner party and there's that uncomfortable, awkward silence when you're frantically searching for something hilarious or interesting to say that doesn't involve the bodily functions of your children, pass on this little tidbit.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
So to kick off the new season, I decided to make a healthy dessert. Peach cobbler. I figure it's better than the usual brownies and ice cream. After all, it has fruit, right? So while we watch people who are morbidly obese produce sweat, blood, and tears, we are stuffing our faces with peach cobbler and ice cream. Let's not count calories.